Mitt Romney's first interview with Zombie Reagan: Mitt Romney came in with cheerful assurance, because he wasn’t capable of anything else. “Let me first welcome you back to this side of the veil, Mr. President.”“Yeah, Mitt, it’s good to see you looking so well. Your father says hello, and he wanted me to add specially that whatever unfortunate negative things you might remember him saying to you when you were a kid, he always tried to tell you the truth and he hopes you’ve used it to improve, and he understands that even with the help of those comments, it might just not have been in you to improve. He wants you to remember he still loves you no matter what you’ve become, or even if you haven’t chosen to become any one thing in particular.”“ That’s very kind. I miss my dad even now.”“ Oh, so do I. I remember George as always that kind of guy, he had your back, whenever you’d think to watch your back, you’d find him somewhere around there, ready for action with that knife already drawn. . John Barnes
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  2. This work was strictly voluntary, but any animal who absented himself from it would have his rations reduced by half. - George Orwell
  3. The universe is a million billion light-years wide, and every inch of it would kill you if you went there. This is the position of the universe with regards to human life. - Martin Amis
  4. I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. - Matt Groening
  5. Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. - Ambrose Bierce
More Quotes By John Barnes
  1. Ah. Well, it stands for Freedom From Morality. We don't think healthy amorality happens naturally." "But you're not amoral, " I pointed out. I would trust you to keep your word any time. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>You don't steal. I've never known you to harm anyone...
  2. So we fell asleep holding hands. If married couples got to do this all the time, shit if I could understand how there were ever divorces, or even fights.
  3. Amatus waited a long time, but at last he broke the silence." There is much I don't unders
  4. This is not the way these tales end, " Calliope said firmly." This is not the way that things end when they get to be tales, " Amatus said, "but since ours is not yet told, we cannot count on it. There were a hundred...
  5. Going into the Republican Party National Convention, in all objective truth, our non‑winning front‑runners are the sorriest collection of stuffed shirts, empty suits, self‑gratulatory ignorami, and outright wig‑flipped ding‑dongs in the history of the Republic.
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